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Kids experience a sense of connectedness to their families when they feel they:
- belong,
- are valued,
- are part of a team,
- are important to the family’s success, and
- have a voice in decisions that affect the family and ourselves.
Regular family meetings are an effective tool for fostering that feeling of belonging.
Family meetings can be used to:
- organize the running of the household – negotiate chores
- discuss family priorities for disposable income (e.g., holiday or new television)
- settle differences
- anything the family wants to talk about
- Choose a regular time when everyone can attend.
- Invite everyone in the household. This includes children who only live in the home part time.
- Post an “Agenda” on the fridge and invite everyone to record what they would like to talk about.
- There are two “positions” and they should rotate through the family.
Chairperson
- keeps the discussion on track
- makes sure each item on the agenda is discussed
- makes sure each person is heard
Secretary
- keeps notes about the decisions that are made
- records issues that are carried over to the next meeting
Ground Rules
- Every person has good ideas and must be respectfully listened to.
- Everyone should share their own feelings about an issue.
- Parents will decide if an issue is for “discussion only” or can be decided by the whole family.
- When decisions are to be made, they will be made by consensus – everyone agrees on what will happen.
- Record all decisions in the minutes of the meeting.
- Meetings must be more than problem-solving sessions. Always take time to discuss family fun and planning for the future.
- Ask the person with the problem to explain it.
- Ask anyone else involved to explain their point of view.
- Everyone ask clarifying questions.
- Brainstorm solutions – secretary writes down ideas.
- Discuss the ideas and develop a solution that everyone can live with.
- Put the decision into action – review it at the next Family Meeting.
If one of the kids chooses not to participate in Family Meetings don’t insist. Eventually they will figure out that all the important and interesting stuff gets discussed in Family Meetings. They won’t want to be left out.
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