| • Do not overreact |
 Signs of drug use |
| • Wait until you are calm to talk to them |
| • Educate yourself |
- Ensure YOU know what your expectations are around alcohol and other drug use.
- What are the consequences of your child not meeting those expectations?
- How will you enforce these consequences?
- Have you been clearly communicating this information to your child?
- Do not yell, criticize or use put-downs.
- Be specific about your concerns – what you have observed and why this worries you.
- Be firm but loving – do not get into an argument.
- Teens are naturally private but try to determine why they are using.
- Is there something you can help them change in their life?
- Do not make excuses for them.
- Make your expectations and the consequences of not meeting them clear.
- Enlist the help of others you trust and whom your child respects.
- Take care of yourself.
- Don’t forget about the needs of other family members – do not let this child’s problem consume the whole family.
- Never give up.
- Seek help and support for yourself.
- Your teen may deny use.
Calmly and firmly return the conversation to what you observed and why this worries you.
- They may want to divert the focus to you and question you about your own use of drugs and alcohol.
Honesty is usually the best policy – explaining that you made mistakes as a teen that you hope they will not repeat. But do not permit the discussion to linger long on your own alcohol and drug use. This is about them and drugs are much stronger and more dangerous now.
Remember that your child is an individual and every day they are getting a little older and moving a little more quickly towards full independence. When all is said and done, he or she will make their own choices. As parents we try to influence them, but we cannot control them.
Learn about increasing parental influence in related topics:
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