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Once kids walk out the door, they are making their own decisions. Their parent will not be there when they are offered their first opportunity to experiment with alcohol and other drugs. The person who is in the best position to keep a teen safe is him/herself.
Encourage them to pay attention to their instincts, their gut feelings. When those feelings are sending out warning messages and they’ve decided they need to extract themselves from a situation, it can help to have practiced refusal strategies.
Depending on the situation:
- Refuse – “Don’t feel like it.” “No way.”
- Make an excuse – “I’ll barf.” “I have to get up in the morning.”
- Recruit an ally to help change the dynamics.
- Blame their parents – “My Mom can smell this stuff a mile away and I’ll get grounded for months.”
- Come up with a better idea – “Nah, that doesn’t sound like much fun. Let’s go play video games at my house instead.”
- Leave – either quietly while no one notices or by making an excuse or joke out of it. “You guys are too crazy for me ...see you later.”
Some kids have such a strong sense of themselves, they have no problem just saying, “no” and getting respect for it. Others will find that recruiting an ally, someone who thinks like they do, will help. Most can use some coaching in how to say “no” in a way that lets them off the hook with their peer group, without being ostracized.
Role play scenarios with them, having them play the part of the kid who is offering the alcohol or other drugs. They will know the kind of language and pressure tactics that might be used by their peers. You play the part of “them,” using the strategies suggested above.
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